Hi! It’s your friend Soph.

Do you want to be happy?

Happiness is something I’ve always prioritised.

In fact, after my mother died, I even wrote a book called ‘Roadtesting Happiness’ about how to find happiness when life isn’t going well.

While seeking happiness might seem like a good goal, you can fall into the trap of thinking ‘I will be happy when ….”

I’ll be happy when this project is done

I’ll be happy when I am on holidays

I’ll be happy when my kids finish school

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In other words, you put off feeling good now, in the hope happiness is just around the corner.

Have you had the same feelings of procrastination or believing happiness is just outside your grasp?

Why does it matter?

So what’s at risk if you fall into the ‘I will be happy when…” mindset?

You don’t appreciate what you have right now.

You ignore the positive things happening around you, because your gaze is firmly focused on the future.

Today, I was sitting in my kitchen, reading some new research which completely changed how I view happiness.

“Instead of seeking happiness, cultivate hope”

When you have a sense of hope, you see your life (as it is right now) as meaningful.

Researchers from the University of Missouri-Columbia found ‘hope stands apart as one of the strongest positive emotions that directly fosters a sense of meaning in your life.”

So how can you cultivate a sense of hope in your life?

Focus on what’s going well

Your brain’s natural negativity bias means you often look out for what’s not going well.

So you have to actively work on focusing on the good moments.

These are often called ‘glimmers’ where you acknowledge small moments of joy.

 A beautiful sunset, a friendly conversation with someone who supports you, or just talking time for a walk outside.

Focus on what you can control

In a chaotic world, you can often feel powerless. 

Remember, you have influence on your own thoughts and actions. 

So for me that means, on challenging days, remembering everything is temporary.

Focus on your strengths

Your unique strengths are your personal superpower.

Your strengths have helped you grow and realise your potential in the past. 

And the same strengths can instil a sense of hope that everything will be OK.

Knowing ‘hope’ might matter more than ‘happiness’ (and using these 3 tools to increase hopefulness every day)  helps me feel more resilient.

I hope it will help you feel more empowered too.

Choose one of these 3 actions above and start applying it to your life everyday.

Focus on what’s going well

Focus on your strengths

Focus on what you can control

Let me know how it goes and which action makes the biggest difference to your wellbeing.

Remember, I love getting feedback from you.

Take care,

Source: Read abstract